July 18, 2010
 
Scripture:         Luke 10:38-42
 
Sermon:           “Doing and Being”
 
            Turning our hearts and minds now to the word of God, let us read together the scripture lesson for the day.  Turn with me to the Gospel According to Luke, chapter 10, where we will read together verses 38 through 42.  You can find that easily on page 97 of the New Testament in the pew Bible.
            The Bible, you know, is full of everyday details of life.  That’s part of what keeps it so relevant to us as we turn to it for wisdom and guidance.  We can find people going through difficulties much like our own.  We can find people struggling with issues and personalities just like we do all the time.  We can find families on display for all the world to see and notice that throughout time parents and children and sisters and brothers have found that it’s not so easy to live under one roof together.  Right?  Sound familiar?  Some of us argued on the way out the door this morning, I’m sure.
            I knew a woman that used to say that her family put the “fun” in dysfunctional.  In some ways she acknowledged that all families have their moments.  But, she also seemed to believe that her family was especially good at not getting along.  They put the “fun” in dysfunctional.
            The Bible starts off pretty close to its beginning with a story of two brothers at odds with one another:  Cain and Abel.  Jealousy was their problem.  Cain was jealous of Abel and he killed him.  Do you know that’s the first mention of sin in the Bible?  Right there in verse 7 of Genesis 4.  Sin first gets a name when two brothers in the same house can’t quite get along.
            The list of families struggling together is a pretty lengthy one in the scriptures.  You can’t really escape it.  And that ought to give you some insight into just how much work it takes to navigate the ups and downs of a family.  It’s pretty universal stuff.
            Our scripture this morning is rooted in the personalities of family life.  They might be very familiar to you.  Jesus paid a visit to the home of two sisters, Martha and Mary.  Each of them acted in such different ways as their guest was there.  And then the tensions boiled over.  You can kind of get the sense that there are years of frustration bubbling up under the surface.
            Imagine you’re there as we read it.  It would be awkward to be a guest in that house as two sisters argued and fought and put their family life on display.  Here’s what I do when there’s conflict in a house like that:  I kind of turn my head away and act like I’m not paying attention, you know.  Some folks put up with it for a while and then say something like, “Maybe it’s time for us to go now.  Come on kids.  Get your things together and say goodbye.”  Awkward.
            It’s fascinating to study this as scripture, I think.  This is the word of the Lord…
 
            Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home.  She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying.  But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?  Tell her then to help me.”  But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken from her.”
 
            Do you know what I call this?  Futzing.  Futzing about the kitchen.  Futzing about the house.  Futzing around.
            I didn’t even know that was a real word, by the way.  But it is.  I’ll be straightening up something at the house and Julie will say, “What are you up to?”
            “Oh, I’m just futzing around.”
            You ever futz?  Are you a futzer?  I guess that I am.  I’m always picking things up and cleaning things and futzing around to make sure all of these little details are taken care of.  It about drives my wife crazy, I think.
            That’s what Martha was doing, isn’t it?  She was futzing.  She invited Jesus over to the house to spend some time with her and her sister Mary.  And then she started futzing.  Luke’s gospel says that she was distracted by her many tasks.  I’m not a scholar of the ancient Greek language.  But I’m pretty sure that the phrase used here means exactly what we’re talking about.  Futzing.  Picking up the dishes as people finish using them.  Washing out the glasses, filling the dishwasher.  Preparing snacks.  Fluffing the pillows.  Getting out the sweeper when somebody spills some crumbs on the carpet.
            I think that women read this story in a different light than most men, by the way.  I’m not trying to say that it’s a woman’s place by any means.  But, far more women know what managing a house is all about than men.  So, whether it’s a role that is chosen by a woman or whether it’s a role that has just fallen upon a woman for whatever reasons, this sort of busy-ness around the house is pretty familiar to women.
            Don’t think that just because the preacher said something about it that things ought to be that way.  In fact you could say that Jesus in this story is trying to challenge all of that by getting Martha to put aside that role she’s assumed.  Right?  “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.”  It’s like he’s saying to her, “Slow down, girl.  You don’t have to do all of that.”
            But, there’s more going on here than that.
            My grandmother, bless her heart, was the Queen Futzer of all time.  I’m not kidding you.  She could make you feel like any time that you spent in her house was nothing more than an extra burden to her already overwhelmed life.  My Nanny as we called her could make you feel at first like there was no place you’d rather be because she would spend countless hours preparing whatever our favorite things were in the kitchen so that when we got there we could enjoy it.  There was this roast beef sandwich with mustard and white bread.  Oh, man.  I miss those.  We just called it a “sammich”.  “You want a sammich, sugar?”
            She made sweet tea like you only hear about in rumors of the South.  Let me tell you those rumors are true.  She would steep the tea leaves in a pot on the stove so that the entire brew was pitch black.  You couldn’t see through this stuff.  And sugar…there was so much sugar in there that the tea was like syrup.  Goodness, I’m going to have to cut this thing short today so I can get to lunch!
            And then there was my Nanny’s lemon meringue pie.  Homemade.  Vanilla wafers around the crust.  Fluffy thick meringue on top.  Creamy lemony filling.  It was divine.
            So, the first ten or fifteen minutes were pure bliss.  “Want s-mo’ tea?”  “Eat a little bit more for me.”
            But, she was a futzer.  And it turns out that she’d been working all day before we got there.  She worked while we were there.  And then she worked some more to stay on top of the cleaning.  Work.  Work.  Work.  And she’d work, you know, until she got the point of resenting the fact that she was working.  Made you feel like she resented you, resented the fact that you’d come over.
            We could hear her mumbling under her breath as she ran this mechanical sweeper over the rug.  “Strewin’ crumbs everywhere.  Just strewin’.  Can’t keep this place clean.”
            I’ve gone to telling stories on my family, now.  But, you see how it is.  One person decides to do all of this work, which is a decision.  And then that person resents everybody else for not working at all and deciding to enjoy the moment, enjoy the company.
            I can hear Martha mumbling under her breath.  Can you?  “I guess I’ll do all of the work.  Nobody else will lift a finger around here.”
            This is what some folks call making a martyr out of yourself.  Futzing around, complaining about all the work you’ve chosen to do at this very moment when you could just let it go and relax and enjoy.
            Mary?  The other sister?  She didn’t give a hoot about all of that house cleaning stuff.  She was lounging around in the den while Jesus told stories and talked about holy things, special things.
            The contrast between these two sisters is so sharp that you can just see that there has been a lifetime of clashes between these personalities.  One of them likes to enjoy special occasions—even it means the house doesn’t look so presentable in front of all of the guests.  That’s Mary.  The other one is extremely worked up about making sure everyone in the house is graciously provided for.  That’s Martha.  But, she’s so concerned about providing and being a good host that she actually becomes a difficult host.
            And then it all boils over.  Martha can’t stand it anymore.  And she storms into the den with the suds of dish soap dripping from her hands and says, “Do you not even care that I’m in here all by myself doing all the work while she just sits around eating Bon Bons?  Why don’t you two stop yapping for just one minute so that she can get in here and help me?”
            Why do you invite somebody over to the house and then get all sidetracked so that you can’t even spend quality time with them?  I don’t know.  I do that, too.  I’m a futzer, by golly.  And I can’t stand it.  But, I am.  I guess I inherited it from a long line.  But, I know what Martha is bent out of shape about.
            I was talking about this story the other day with somebody.  And she said, “I just can’t bring myself to not forgive ‘ole Martha.”  Maybe she’s a futzer, too.
            But, Jesus didn’t take her side.  In fact, he saw something very wrong with what was going on with Martha.  That’s not what she expected.  She kind of thought in her own mind that the rest of the house would take notice of all of her hard work and be thankful for it.  But, Jesus didn’t see it that way at all.
            Therapists call this triangling by the way.  That’s when you can’t communicate well enough openly with another person that you try to bring in a third person on your side.  You triangle that person into ganging up on the other one.  Martha tried to triangle Jesus into an argument with her sister Mary.  And Jesus was entirely too wise for that business.
            But, he did get involved.  He did stick his nose in the middle of it after Martha made it an issue.  And what he said is that there are things that are so much more important than worrying over the details of a clean house or a presentable dinner or a perfectly executed party.  Worrying about that stuff will keep you from every enjoying time with friends and family.  There’s always time to clean up later and folks really don’t care as much as you think they do about how things look.
            Was he giving a lesson in etiquette, though?  Is that the point of including this story in the gospel?  Is this simply Jesus’ version of Emily Post?  Is it an interesting look into how Jesus found himself in the middle of a family squabble one day?  Or is there something else here about important it is to take time to breathe in the presence of Jesus?  Take time to listen to what Jesus has to say.  Take time to enjoy the company of the Lord.
            Do you think there might be more to it?
            There might be more to it.  There might.  Because we can get pretty caught up in the “doing” of faith.  There’s a lot to do.  Tons of details to take care of.  The “doing” of faith will wear you out sometimes, too.  The “doing” of faith can make you resent the whole thing at times, too, if you’re not careful.  Sometimes you just have to stop “doing” and simply start “being” in the presence of Jesus.
            You get worn out with the doing to the point where you can’t enjoy the being anymore.  Board meetings.  Choir rehearsal.  Committee meetings.  Preparing food for the women’s fellowship.  Cooking at the soup kitchen.  Details.  Details.  Church starts in half an hour and the kids aren’t even dressed yet.  You get here and notice that nobody’s picked up after the children played in a Sunday school room so you stop and rearrange things, mumbling under your breath about how nobody else does anything, you know.  Futzing.  You start to resent how everybody else is singing songs of praise and laughing when the preacher says something funny when all you’ve got on your mind is how to get out of the service in time to have Fellowship Hall ready for fellowship time.
            You think I’m talking about you.  Maybe so.  I’m really talking about me, too.
            “Martha, Martha,” Jesus said.  “You are worried and distracted by many things.  There is need of only one thing.”  It’s like he said, “Hold on a minute.  Breathe.  Pay attention to me and let all of that other stuff go.  Even God took a rest on the seventh day!”
            I think that we’ve already done all of the work getting this place ready to sit with Jesus.  So, let’s just do that.  Let’s just pull up a seat at this table and enjoy his presence.  The deacons and elders don’t have to worry over the details.  It will get served one way or another.  We can clean it all up later.  It is time to simply be in the company of Jesus.  Relax.  Listen to his voice.  Share our stories with him as he shares his with us.  And just be for a moment.  Just be.

Rev. David James Brown

Park Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)